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Writer's picturemissmarian

Mama what?


The end of 2018 had been such an amazing time for both of us. For Jaysen, he was finishing up his long year of travel and competitions, balancing his HR job, and was getting ready to start the most vigorous year to come. For me, I was getting ready to finish up this BA for my Dual Teaching Credential and start a new position at work. I felt like we were both in a good place, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Little did we know that our life was just about to be blessed even more.


In all honesty, the second we found out we were both in ultimate shock and mixed emotions.

I had been sick for a couple days with a stomach virus so it took me by surprise. The last days of this virus I began to realize, this was no longer a "stomach virus" anymore because the nausea was insane. Jaysen was running a Taekwondo seminar with his brother that weekend so we were so busy prepping that we kept putting off taking a test.

To be completely honest, I was probably putting it off because I already knew the answer.

Sure enough, we saw those blue lines and and knew our life was about to change.


We talked about options, and came to an agreement that there was NO other discussion other than

We are having this baby. Our baby.


We had our fair share of nerves telling our close friends and family the big news, and we definitely got different responses from everyone. Whether it was opinions, support, negative or positive responses. The most important thing Jaysen and I kept in mind, was that people will always have their fair share in their own opinions, words are just words and everyone has their own perspective on life. People's opinions did not matter, only to their own self. , The only thing that mattered to us was what WE wanted, as a family.

No other words or opinions mattered because in the end, I had this beautiful piece of life inside me.


We were scared, nervous, unsure, but most of all; excited.

The day came for our first appointment, and to be honest we had no idea what we were looking at. But the second we heard baby's heartbeat I couldn't have been more in love before.

From this moment on, we made sure we did everything in our power to make sure we were doing all the right things. We changed our diet; Jaysen was the most concerned for me and made sure I took the best vitamins and that my lunch box for work looked like a fully stocked grocery bag.


Weeks went by slow, and my belly was growing every day and for only 9 weeks, I felt like I had a fast growing Baby Ishida in there. How insane is the idea of having half of Jaysen and half of me inside me? Although we've always talked about our future, what it looked like and what we dreamt of, we never expected it to come this quick. Nonetheless, we planned and made sure we were making all the right decisions for our new family. We knew the struggle that came with our decision, and we knew it wasn't going to be all rainbows and butterflies and that our life as going to change drastically. But this baby meant the world to us, and no matter how many sacrifices it was going to take, we vowed to always push towards our dreams no matter what.

Our dreams became our Family's dreams.

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